At Silvermist Recovery Center, you can experience one on one care and a customized treatment plan. This tends to result in enhanced relationships and repairing ones that were injured. Step Nine is that biggie step, the one we likely have created some anxiety over because it involves making amends.
Rehab Programs
If possible, schedule a time to speak with them in advance to prepare for the conversation. Book Jason for speaking engagements, events or appearances and let him bring the message of recovery & hope. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.
Understanding AA Step 9
And in some cases, you may not be able to make direct amends at all. However, you can still take action in all of these situations to satisfy the spirit and the intent of Step 9 and progress in your step work. While doing our amends and experiencing being forgiven, we begin to see the value in extending it to others. It feels good to practice forgiveness and just let go of resentment! Positive reinforcement is a great motivator to practice the spiritual principle of forgiveness as much as possible. By forgiving others we start to recognize our own humanness, and it gives us the capacity to be less judgmental than we were in the past.
I’m In Recovery
- As with alcohol and other drugs, we are also powerless over other people.
- Cake offers its users do-it-yourself online forms to complete their own wills and generalized educational content about wills.
- A 12-step program fosters long-term recovery through spirituality, growth, and accountability.
- We become aware that since we usually mean well, we can extend that belief to others.
- Thank you again for taking the time to listen (or read this) and please reach out if you have any questions or feedback in the future.
- And some people in your life may not be receptive on your timeline.
Before you decide who to approach and how you intend to make amends, reflect on your efforts at recovery and the intent behind making amends. Guilt for our wrongs can be one of the most deceptive recovery demons to bear because it damages us from the inside, where it happily hides. Get rid of that guilt; apologize, make your amends and let go of them. We gain humility as a result of taking a good look at the damage we did to others (and ourselves) and accepting responsibility for it. After acknowledging to ourselves what we’ve done, we take responsibility for making it right.
- It seems to sum up the relief from guilt and shame, the lessening of our obsession with “self”, and the increased ability to appreciate what’s really going on all around us.
- Steps 8 and 9 help us to move out of the shame we have lived in, shame that feeds the cycle of substance use and addiction.
- This would not be possible without the spiritual preparation we received from the previous steps.
- For years he had been drinking and she started later in my life, so I also blamed his actions for making her drink.
- On the other hand, if you deal with the situation from the past, then there is no way for it to come back and bite you later.
You will need to demonstrate that you are committed to rebuilding trust and repairing your relationship with them. Some people will be easier than others to approach due to the relationship you have with them, how close you live to them, or other factors. In some situations, attempting to make amends may cause more harm than good.
If you’re still living amends in treatment, it could be some time before you can obtain a job and save enough to return a substantial amount of money. Some situations, such as those involving the custody of children, other legal matters, or multiple complex issues at play, may be best to pre-game with the appropriate professionals. Recognize that there are limits to the things you are personally able to control. I always thought that I had been making direct amends whenever I had injured others. I would apologize for my mistakes and pray about it to have the knowledge to not repeat my actions.
Steps 8 and 9 help us to move out of the shame we have lived in, shame that feeds the cycle of substance use and addiction. We strengthen and reinforce healthy recovery whenever we do our part to repair relationships or reach out to others with support and understanding. Step 9 also allows one to practice the processes of self-reflection, accountability and making amends, all key components the next step, Step 10.
Eventually you will find you are making amends day by day through the positive actions you routinely take in living by Twelve Step principles. Remember, this is a Twelve Step process that can provide a platform for healing, but the person we are reaching out to may not be at the same place in healing as we are. As with alcohol and other drugs, we are also powerless over other people. We cannot control how others respond, whether they will forgive or whether they will hold on to negative feelings or resentments. For example, we might intend to go to a friend’s birthday party, but in actuality, we fail to show up for the event. While we might apologize later for missing the party, our apology consists of words rather than actions or changed behavior.
